You know that feeling that you get where you feel really full and satisfied and happy and at peace with something or someone or an idea? I was once told that that feeling is something I should pay attention to. That there are places where your soul finds water, and you should return to those places to be filled and quenched. And that you should stay away from places that dry you up or make you feel dissatisfied or lost. The feeling of being “quenched” is a real thing, and I think it’s instilled in your soul by Jesus. I put a lot more stock in feelings and desires than others that I know. It’s a way that I worship. I can’t discredit the things that are placed in my heart. The Jesus I’ve been discovering recently makes me feel quenched and in love.
I need to not forget that when I hear things that make me feel dry.
There is a Jesus who quenches. And He’s real. And He loves me exactly as I am.
The addendum to this thought: there is so much beauty in the evolution of thoughts and continually learning and transforming. I could be challenged with something and there’s nothing wrong with adapting that thought into me. It’s part of the life of the Gospel.
I am switching back to a paper planner. There’s just something about crossing off your to-do list.
I am trying to type like an adult, as in - with correct capital letters.
I am trying to write more. Even if it is just my silly thoughts.
I feel the depths of Winter. I feel it in my soul. But I want to make it good. I want to change from it. The beauty of Winter is that it eventually becomes Spring, and all the cold and bleakness disappears into beautiful colors and new flowers and sunshine. I’m ready to start turning into Spring.
That’s why I love that it’s a new week. I’m one more closer to bright colors and sunshine.
There is one thing that I know: I am learning. All the time. Though these experiences are almost never fun, they’re necessary. Though they bring difficulty and anxiety, I don’t think I would be able to love Jesus the same without them. Instead of being beaten down and feeling sorry for myself and assuming I have all these problems (who doesn’t? But convincing yourself that these “problems” hold you back from being happy and impede you from moving past issues in your life is completely unhealthy) that are ruining my life - I’ve decided to embrace it. I am young. I have a lot to learn. I have a lot of processes to experience. These learning moments are from God because he loves me. I want to take them be thankful for them.
The thing is: I better embrace learning because though I may stop making one mistake, I will keep making others. Maybe that’s the beauty of humanity- that our imperfection allows us to love Jesus more than we ever could if we didn’t have any problems.
here i am, sitting on the pontoon boat in the pouring rain. my sister is somewhere on the lake on a jet ski. part of me thinks that would be really fun. part of me would have been terrified. some people helped us into a random slip, to hide from the monsoon. it was a mini moment of humans helping humans and i loved it. i cherish those moments.